Today my post will be brief and extremely personal, I hope that’s okay with all of you.
I am currently visiting my boyfriend’s family in Ireland, who taught me one of life’s biggest lessons- that family is equally about the one you choose as it is the one you are born with.
For years I have lived thousands of miles away from my own family yet no matter how lost I get while searching for more adventures and a deeper sense of self their constant presence has always acted as my anchor.
When I decided to train as a chef and move to Ireland without Mr.C, it had been four years since I last lived with mum and dad. One of the biggest indirect blessings of that decision was having my boyfriend’s parents live in the same county as my cookery school. From day one they treated me as one of their own and I have never known what it feels like to be an outsider or to feel undeserving of their acceptance and love.
His parents immediate and heartfelt welcome quickly extended to all his aunts, uncles, cousins and nanny’s, which gave me an invaluable gift- a second place to call home.
His relatives are also an important reminder that you can choose anyone to become your family as long as you aren’t expecting them to replace and/or fill the traditional roles. Rather, you must love each chosen person for who they are and in turn how they, as an individual, add to your quality of life.
This week I am changing it from ThrowbackThursday to ThankfulThursday and sending huge love to both my families, without whom I would be perpetually wondering without an anchor to attach myself to.
With university starting in the UK today I thought I would share the ten things I wish I had known when I was a Fresher-
1. Be the quiet one- I’m outgoing but to those who don’t me know me this can be, and is often, a misunderstood personality trait. You can indirectly give people too many opinions of yourself, not all of them positive, and in wanting to contribute so much to the conversation you can end up giving too much of yourself away too early. Be the quiet one and leave people guessing rather than assuming who you are.
2. Quality versus quantity fashion- I bought a lot of on trend and super cheap clothing that not only makes me cringe but looks unbelievably cheap in photographs. I wish I had compromised and bought two or three higher end pieces each term. Instead, I threw out about 90% of my wardrobe after university and thought about the hundreds of pounds it had all added up to.
3. Boyfriends- I wish I had been a lot more honest with myself about where my university relationship was heading – nowhere! I knew I was never going to meet true love on the dance floor at 3 a.m. while a DJ shouted, “Ladies, boom shake the room!”, so I should’ve just broken up with him and enjoyed being single.
4. Choose your friends wisely- We all want to be around the people who everyone else looks up to because their energy is contagious. Some people are aware of this energy and are arrogant beyond belief because they can pick and choose their friends easily while others are genuinely enigmatic and gracious. Distinguish between the two and don’t fall into the trap of choosing a persons social power over their personality, otherwise your university days could be overshadowed by turbulent and one-sided friendships.
5. Drink wisely- Don’t get me wrong, I drank at Uni, but when you are drunk you can say or do things you truly regret. One particularly bad evening a group of us went out and by the end of the night, a girl had kissed a guy in a serious relationship and another was crying because everyone else but her was up to no good. Luckily I had escaped out the back door for a second dinner and returned only to find one of the girls had fallen flat on her back outside the club. Disaster! Your reputation when drunk can precede your reputation sober, and I would say that that for 99% of us that isn’t a positive thing. Whether you’re the flirt, the crier, the one night stand-er, don’t let that side of you speak on behalf of your awesome sober self. It can take one night of disastrously bad choices to cause months of serious reputation repair.
6. Treat yourself- You should allow yourself something luxurious as a reward for a great mark or for being studious. I found massages and a gourmet lunch was the perfect treat, which also doubled as alone time to get away from the craziness of university living.
7. Study- I luckily have two degrees, which allowed me not to repeat this mistake twice, but please make time for studying. Getting poor grades when you’re intelligent is an insult yo your potential and it’s an even bigger insult to your future employability. It’s a tough economic climate right now and jobs are hard to get, not studying isn’t an option. Partying in your early twenties is fun but being unemployed in your late twenties is not. It blows the big one. In fact, it blows the biggest one.
8. Take every opportunity- University is packed with rare opportunities- internships, overseas language courses, exchange classes. My advice- do them all. This is something I did do and not only was my exchange the best six months of my life, it looked fantastic on my CV. I was alone in Lyon for half a year, which forced me to come into my own and my French improved dramatically.
9. Exercise- Not only is joining a sports team a great way to make friends and be social outside of your friendship group, it’s an important way to stay healthy, feel confident and get fit.
10. Eat right- Ramen noodles, fried chips and pizza are cheap, I agree, but they do nothing for your body. They lack the important nutrients needed to stay healthy and keep your mind focused. When I was a Fresher I treated my body like rubbish. As a result I got laryngitis in the first week, glandular fever in the first year and someone in my halls of residence got cirrhosis of the liver. That is permanent liver damage from abusing alcohol! Only in my second year did I start to cook my own meals and eat right, which radically changed my ability to recover from illness and concentrate in class.
So for all those starting university- best of luck, stay healthy and enjoy the years ahead. Being at uni is a rare time- despite being an adult you have little responsibility to do any more than learn, I only wish I could go back and do it all again knowing what I know now.
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Welcome beautiful readers!
My name is Christiana. I am a London based lifestyle blogger who is always traveling. To say I love food is an understatement, I live for it. This blog was first created as a place to share my original recipes and quickly developed into a life directory to guide people needing fashion inspiration, travel guides, restaurant reviews and a bit of life advice.